Abigail—okay, so—she wasn’t married to the greatest guy in the world. As the story goes, her husband, Nabal, was a fool. In fact, his name means just that. He was also quite wretched . . . and a drunkard . . . but that didn’t steal Abigail’s joy. (By the way, her name means “My Father’s Joy”.) You’ll find the story of Abigail and Nabal (and David) in 1 Samuel (Shemuel) 25.
Now, we don’t know if Abigail knew Nabal was a fool when she married him, but either way, she was not one to complain. What we do know from scripture, not only was she intelligent and beautiful, she was loyal and very, very wise. She was a woman of binah, great understanding (actually, all of us women are gifted with a double-dose) and she was very knowledgable of the teachings of the prophets. Abigail was a virtuous woman, hands-down.
In contrast, Nabal was rather a harsh man. He was rude, selfish, and pig-headed. He thought only of his riches and possessions. In today’s world, to a lot of women he would probably be considered a fine catch, just because of his “dap” sheet—Girl, he got money, a house, a nice ride, a good job, etc. . . .
I am sure many of us have already learned the lesson of Proverbs (Mishle) 11:4 and 11:28—riches does NOT equal righteousness. And, Nabal was NOT a righteous man. But enough about Nabal. My true intent for this article is to focus on us women and our binah with Abigail being a fine example of how we should carry ourselves, especially in the most difficult of situations, like being hitched to a man that is “lost and clueless”.
THERE IS BEAUTY IN BINAH
Binah is one the most important expressions of our feminity and power. Most importantly, binah does not require us to compete with a man or his abilities. Women who are in a covenant with the Most High (and disciplined) know that, while yielding to auhority, YAH has equipped us with this divine power to critically discern situations and entities. Men of YAH would be very wise to notice and take heed, for they would greatly benefit from our imput and counsel.
Women, in this spirit of understanding, have the ability to influence a man in many areas of his life. Of course, this can be a good thing or a bad one, depending on which path we are on in our own lives. Men will either be influenced by our spirit and light, or by our dark charms and spells; again, it is dependent upon who we serve, the Most High, or HaShatan.
If you are confused about where you stand (how your binah is flowing), you can identify yourself by reading Proverbs (Mishle) Chapter 7, in it’s entirety; and, the well-known Proverbs (Mishle) Chapter 31. You’re either a “strange” woman, or an “honorable” woman—can’t be both.
One thing for certain, a woman CANNOT change a man. Only YAH can change a man’s heart, AND, Torah Flash: If a man is prideful, YAH CAN DO NOTHING WITH HIM! In fact, pride is what YAH hates most in all of us—pride, arrogrance, the way of evil and perverted speech.
GETTING OFF THE SEE-SAW
If you’re finding yourself unequally yoked, much like Abigail, you have the ability to be a blessing in your relationship. Perhaps, in the past you have been one minute on your knees, fervently praying for your husband and the next minute you’ve been like a screeching owl, contentiously taking him down, tearing him apart, vexing on his weaknesses and feeding him like gossip to the wind. Today, I encourage you to seek YAH and commit to a vision of hope.
Okay, so, maybe he’s not the man you want him to be right now (and I don’t know if he will ever be) but, look to Abigail as your example of what to do. Below, I have highlighted some of her most appealing attributes found in the book of Mishle:
Proverbs (Mishle) 16:21-24
21 The wise in heart are called discerning,
and gracious words promote instruction.
22 Prudence is a fountain of life to the prudent,
but folly brings punishment to fools.
23 The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent,
and their lips promote instruction.
24 Gracious words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Study (indepth) Abigail’s story. Follow her example. Let go and trust YAH to create the path of change he deems sufficient for you. Do not waiver. Be committed.
THE WAY OF JOY (ABIGAIL)
Nabal was an insecure and unhappy person. Abigail knew her husband well, but where was her focus? She wasn’t concentrating on all of his faults, rather, she turned her attention inward, upon herself and kept her eyes upward, on the Most High, making sure she was aligning herself with truth, at every turn, in all of her actions, leaving all changes up to YAH.
Abigail did not separate herself from her husband’s shortcomings. She acknowledged them and did her best to bridge the gap, spiritually. She had compassion for Nabal. She did not fear him. She did not pity him, and she did not condemn him. It was her compassion that freed her from his destructiveness as she tried to help him change.
As the story goes, Nabal did not change, but Abigail remained constant, loyal to her ABBA, and honorable to her marriage, and open to whatever YAH had for her. She trusted the Most High, completely. Now, as her story is revealed unto you, see and look what YAH has done.
Oh, the joy!